Wednesday, February 28, 2007
You know the feeling where you all you want to do is rip your throat out.I hate being sick, yet maybe I like it.
Friday come quick.
____________________________________
I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
Thunder on replay.
This songs is <3
(not just because its called Thunder)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
I'm still the optimist, though it is hard when all you want to be is in a dream
Aiya, CNY is over, such a drag. Did GEE-ROW visting, need to do it all this weekend.
My last overseas holiday in a long time. Joy.
I kinda like staying in Bangkok, even though I missed everyone back home.
Still, its fun waking up late and eating wonderful KhaoPad.
Oh yea, good stuff.
Anyway it was good while it lasted, kind of made me want to go back to ChiangMai even more ):
This week was fast, tomorrow its Friday already, means the weekends are here.
These upcoming two weeks will be such a drag, SSEF.
The bane of my exsistence.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
Will be gone soon, to Bangkok, away. from this shithole
Iris on replay.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Hmmmm, I can't believe I spent my Valentines' Day with someone like this
Isn't she so very 'hot'. She reminds me of something though.
Anyway Me&Borat-look-a-like went out to binge at Gastromania.
We drowned our sorrows with food
We went in and ordered like super alot, the guy who was serving us got this mighty big shock, he was like uuhhh okkkkaayy.
We looked like these two big gluttons.
So we sat around and ate for over an hour.
It was oh-so-very indulgent.
As usual we just sat around and talked and talked.
Chloe you bad girl. Yes whined about life again, became emo.
So we headed to Island Creamery to eat our sorrows away and to continue whining alot more.
I will never forget THAT moment, 'URINARY BLADDER! UNRINARY BLADDER!'
So yes this is a weekly thing now, whining away.
I would like to thank everybody in school who gave me so many wonderful gifts, flowers and food which are going to make me so very fat. Not like I am not now, I am so fat now after the binging.
Oh yes, today bio was extremely fun. I had many good and hearty laughs.
Still I felt loved, Thanks everybody.
I lubdub all of you from my right to my left ventricle.
Life doesn't give you the people you want,
it gives you the people you need.
To help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you;
to make you into the person you were meant to be.
My mother just called me a failure, thats nice.
Yea, I am sorry for being one.
Sucha beerash.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
A simple photo can take you back to a timewhere everything was perfect
____________________________________
This whole week, its like an internal struggle of worry and self-doubt.
All these random thoughts of failing O levels, getting above 10 points.
Worried of all these expectations that I fear I would let down, how the future would be so uncertain.
Just a few minutes ago, I was freaking out because I realised I did not study much this whole weekend.
I just spent it fooling around.
I just felt so down and out, like 'oh shit I am so screwed'
Its really strange, how this little piece of paper with a random bunch of letters and numbers all in row can affect and cause so much worry.
Yet, what does these letters all mean?
Does it really mean we are a better person, a better student, a better child?
The answer is pretty obvious staring staight at me,
but why do I still want so badly to do well that it is just eating me up.
I study so hard just for what, that piece of paper.
It seems quite pointless, but somehow I know I need to do it.
Am I really defined by the grades that I get.
I know somehow, at the end of this whole 'O level' journey, I want to be more than
'Oh I got these grades because I mugged'
It should be so much more than that, because God is the one who created all this knowledge in the first place.
Still, to glorify god through my results, I cannot really seem to get it.
But for now, I will try to glorify him through the way I go through this exam, I hope.
Its just the beginning and it already sucks so bad.
When you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray.
Just remember the Lord will hear and the answer is on it's way.
Our God is able.
He is mighty.
He is faithful.
And He never sleeps, He never slumbers.
He never tires of hearing our prayer.
When we are weak He becomes stronger.
So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him.
Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten your need.
Just remember that God is always working in ways you cannot see.
Friday, February 09, 2007
You can try to hide your feelings,but they won't disappear
if they don't go away.
There's a reason why they're there.
and one of mixed feelings if you know what I mean.
Anyway we had this really retarded excursion to Discovery Centre where they filled our brains with senseless National Education on how to FIGHT THE TERRORIST.
I mean its pretty much common sense,
who on earth goes onto a bus with this gigomantic bag leaves it there and goes 'not mine, not mine'
OBVIOUSLY there is something wrong, he is either
1. carrying a bomb
2. hiding a dead body
3. dropping off drugs for someone to pick up
Either one of it you wouldn't walk calmly to the bus driver to report it.
You'd get off at the next stop.
Anyway it was so boring we just took ALOT of pictures.
Its name was ann.
I don't know what this one was called
I can extinguish fires!
His fly was open. 
Sexy thing(Hahahaha)
Hello Sunshine(s)
All of us (without the stupid debators)
Thursday, February 08, 2007
(Anyone with the Y-chromosone in them just skip this whole part)
I wasted 15 minutes of my recess arguing with stupid Chloe and embarassed myself in the process.
We were walking the corridor talking really quite loudly.
Me: I AM TELLING YOU THE THIN THIN ONES ARE PINK NOW!
Chloe: NO NOT THAT ONE THATS THE LONG LONG ONES!
Me: THATS BECAUSE THEY CHANGED THE PACKAGING ITS PINK NOW!
Chloe: NO ITS GREEN! I CANT FIND THOSE ANYMORE NOW I HAVE TO USE THIS THICK ONES
(Chloe goes very quiet now)
Me: I AM TELLING YOU THE THIN ONES ARE CALLED WHISPER ULTRA, THE SUPER ABSORBENT, SHORT ONES AND THEY ARE
NOW PINK! DO YOU GET ME?!
I turn around to my HORROR, I see Mr Yeo staring at us with total disgust written all over on his face.
I could just die just there. Anyway I died on the floor laughing.
Moments like this I will miss when I leave MG.
Discussing random nonesense like this.
But anyway today I a good day, there is NO WORK, maybe because I finished it all already yesterday.
So I spent the whole day SLEEPING, oh the joys of 4 extra hours of sleep.
I feel like such a pig, I just skipped lunch and plonked on my mum's bed to sleep. Uniform and all.
All the tests are over I can just sit around and slack, but very soon I can't for like 9 months.
Excursion tomorrow! WHOOPEEDOO.
I look forward to it with such great anticipation.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
HAPPY SWEET 16 TAN JIAYIN!
You are 16, join the club :D
Its been another great year knowing you, sneezes, sniffles and random rantings.
Its been cool talking random nonesense with you and doing really strange things together.
I hope you liked the cake&cupcake!
We were all frantic during recess looking for fire.
Still you remained oh so oblivious.
Its very amusing.
Continue to grow in the Lord as this year goes by :D
I am offically in love with Lion King,
its the awesomest movie of all time.
It makes me feel happy, kiddish, without a worry.
I knew I should not have rented it, but now I have this urge to just borrow all the desiney movies.
This is not good, I should be starting to study really hard already.
Argh, Lion King is just nice (:
Profound in sutle ways, I keep humming random songs from the movie when I am bored/moody.
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts
There they are sitting in a row
Big ones, small ones & some as big as your head!
I drive people mad with this song (:
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Just thinking about everything makes me feel like rolling over and just dying on the floor.
Come back home and hit the books.
Maybe this is some kind of release,
I am pathetic pouring out everything to a pointless blog.
"Oh Becky, You've got to stop being emo, its bad for health.'
Anyway Island Creamery was totalllyyy awesome, its fun to just sit and talk without a worry in the world.
Maybe we're not meant to be happy.
Maybe there is no such thing.
Maybe happiness was just made up by people who needed something to look forward to.
Monday, February 05, 2007
remember when we were little & the biggestdecision we had to make was to either go on
the swings or the monkey bars during recess.
or how the only fake people we knew were
barbie & ken. or how the only way our friends
could disappear was in a game of hide & seek.
& the only drama that happened was when
your best friend stole your cookie at lunch.
All I can think about is population pyramids, birth rates, death rates and all the retarded factors relating to that.
Its just eating me up, I have to really stop doing this when I get burned out.
I just dont have the time no more.
High Birth Rate:
- No Contraceptives
- Lack of education on family planning
- more children in a bid to ensure that at least some will survive to take care of the retarded farm
- Culture to have boys so they keep giving birth till they get a retarded boy. GIRLS ARE EQUALLY COOL OKAY. gosh so sexist.
- I cannot remember anymore.
Okay that was quite boring, my head is a buzz so I need to do some random pointless quiz to make it feel normal.
———-Have You Ever———
1. Been so drunk you blacked out: No
2. Missed school coz it was raining: Nope
3. Put a body part on fire for amusement: Yep
4. Been hurt emotionally: Yup
5. Kept a secret from everyone: Yes
6. Had an imaginary friend: Yes, its name was dinky
7. Cried during a Movie: Yea
8. Had a crush on a teacher: Hell No
9. Ever thought an animated character was fit?: WOLVERINE!
10. Been on stage: yeeaa
11. Cut your own hair?: NEVER EVER considered it. EVER
————Favourites————–
12. Colour[s]: white&black
Day/Night: Day, I like the sun
14. Summer/Winter: Winter, its the novelty of snow.
15.Cartoon Character: SPONGEBOB, PATRICK, TIMMY TURNER!
16. Fave Food: Italian.
17. Fave Advert: The dove one. "I can see your TRUE COLOURS shining though..." or The Nokia one.
18. Fave Ice Cream: ISLAND CREMERY BANANA/ BEN&JERRYS COOKIE DOUGH
19. Fave Subject: uh, Bio?
20. Fave Persons to talk to: My imaginary friend.
21. Fave Actor/Actress: No idea whats so every
————Right now————–
22.Wearing: Red Bule T-shirt + Paul Frank Pyjamas Pants
23. my hair is: brownish black
24. feeling: Kinda of Screamo, slighty physcothic. (hahahah)
25. Eating: Air
26. Drinking: my own saliva
27. Thinking about: Population Pyramids
28. cried: On Saturday, laughing waayyyy to hard
29..Worn a skirt: Last, last year?
30. Met someone new: December Camp?
31. Cleaned your room: when I am forced to
32. Done laundry: Missions.
33. Drove a car: D-A-Y-T-O-N-A
————–DO YOU BELIEVE IN————
34. Yourself: YYEEAA
35. Your friends: 'Cept those sneakkyyy ones (shifty eyes)
36. Santa claus: Fat dude with a beard? maybe
37. Tooth Fairy: oohhh free money
38. Angels: YUP :D
39. Devils: EEEYYUUUR EEVVIIILLL but yea
40. UFO’s: Ultra Freaky Otters, yea I believe in them
—————–FRIENDS AND LIFE—————-
41. Like anyone?: YES! My mummy, my daddy, magic etc etc
42. Who’s the loudest: loudest?
43. Who’s the weirdest: people call me weird :/
44. Who do you go to for advice: My imagingary friend. Okay not really
45. Who do you cry to? my pillow
46. When did you cry the most: When I laugh
47. Worst feeling? When I cant find God
48. Who do u like? My Imaginary Friend
My emo shizzles, makes me out to sound like some attention deprived kid, which I dont exactly want to be.
But, I think even when I am feeling really strangely emo, I dont really sound it.
Its complicated I suppose.
I dont like people freaking out all because I am feeling down or any shit like that.
Its not fair, but its fun to whine along with each other. (ahem chloe)
I am freaking out because so many of my family memebers are in Hospital, its really freaky.
All blood related issues, kind of makes you think about how fragil life is, like this itsy-bitsy inbalance and everything is just really screwed up.
So they are stuck in hospital unable to go anywhere.
I sort of makes you value freedom too, the ability to go whereever you want (to a certain extent) is really a previlage.
What do I do with it? Run around and do pointless things
Okay I dont really know what I am talking about no more.
I have no idea but my mind feels like a jumbled up junk yard of thoughts that I cannot seem to string together.
Nothing seems to be linking up, kind of like I am running around in circles before banging into a wall.
Its just a strange feeling I am having now, like your stuck in a rut and when you get up, someone comes along and pushes you back in.
This on going thing, which never seems to want to end.
'Becky Stay down there, its where you belong'
Yea, maybe I will stay there, its tiring trying to get up all the time.
Push me back and forth, telling me that I SHOULD do this or that.
I am sorry but I do not always know the answers.
I wish I could just forget it all.
Because I really do not know what to do.
PHYSICS PRAC TOMORROW IS THE BANE OF MY EXSISTENCE.
Last night I had a really sweet dream.
Because You were in it.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Met up with Chloe to shop kind of early and got into a cab with a really grumpy uncle.
We got to my uncles place and watched LION KING.
That show is like the ultimate bestest best show of all time.
Anyway played lots of mahjong and sang lots of karoke.
Watched Scary movie 3 which was so very retarded.
I hope all 12 of you had lots and lots of fun just hanging out.
Now for pictures (:
8 pizzas, lots of sausages and weird tasting drinks ( look at Adele)
Beulah.
MAHJONG IS DA BOMB. Raina looks very taitai-ish
Celine/Beulah/Izzy/Chloe/Becky. In the middle of ScaryMovie3
Jia, is just so. queer
Attach of evil clippy thing.I cannot post the other photos, they are detrimental to my reputation.
ESPECIALLY the apron one.
I could put Chloe's one up but i realised its abit, well evil